


Weird Science

by ceealaina



Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2020 [16]
Category: Iron Man (Movies)
Genre: Bodyswap, Getting Together, Hand Jobs, Howard Stark's A+ Parenting, M/M, MIT Era, MacGuffins, Protective James "Rhodey" Rhodes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:08:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24099358
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceealaina/pseuds/ceealaina
Summary: In a series of unfortunate events, a lab incident leads to Tony and Rhodey switching bodies -- the same weekend that Tony absolutely has to go home. Now Tony has to get everything back to normal while evading his parents, Jarvis, and dealing with a super cranky Rhodey. (It would help if he was slightly less distracted by wanting to touch this new body all over.)Title: Weird ScienceCollaborator Name: ceealainaCard Number: 3088Link: AO3Square Filled: A5 - BodysharingShip: IronHusbandsRating: EMajor Tags: MIT Era, Bodyswap, Hand Jobs,Summary: In a series of unfortunate events, a lab incident leads to Tony and Rhodey switching bodies -- the same weekend that Tony absolutely has to go home. Now Tony has to get everything back to normal while evading his parents, Jarvis, and dealing with a super cranky Rhodey. (It would help if he was slightly less distracted by wanting to touch this new body all over.)Word Count: 5418
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes/Tony Stark
Series: Tony Stark Bingo 2020 [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1594795
Comments: 24
Kudos: 193
Collections: IronHusbands, Tony Stark Bingo 2020





	Weird Science

Tony opened his eyes and then immediately closed them again, groaning as his head pounded in response. “Oh god, what the fuck happened?” he asked. 

Then he froze, because that… Wasn’t his voice. 

Very, very slowly, he opened his eyes, looking across the room only to see, well, himself staring back at… Himself. Tony watched his own eyes grow wide, a very bad feeling growing in his stomach. 

“Rhodey?” he asked at the same time that his own body asked, “Tones?” They stared at each other for a long time. 

“Oh, shit.”

Tony was the first to speak as the fact that he and Rhodey had  _ switched bodies _ started to really sink in. “Okay.” He covered his mouth with his hand, something he’d seen Rhodey do a thousand times when he was nervous, and quickly dropped it to his side again. “Okay, this is… Fine.”

“Fine?” Rhodey repeated in a high, screechy voice. 

Tony glared at him. Being the youngest person at MIT was hard enough. He worked very hard to keep his voice from doing that in public, thank you very much. But Rhodey didn’t seem to notice. 

“Tony, this is not fine! Nothing about this is fine!” 

“Just… Stop panicking!” 

“Stop panicking, he says. How am I not supposed to panic when you are  _ inside me _ .”

Tony blinked at that, then choked, biting at his lower lip. He didn’t want to laugh, but he couldn’t help it. Tony snorted, the sound turning to full laughter as Rhodey glared at him, and wow, Tony was hot when he made that face. He’d have to keep that in mind. 

“I cannot believe you’re laughing right now.” 

“I’m sorry!” Tony protested. “It’s just… you said ‘inside me.’”

Tony gave an undignified yelp as Rhodey launched the closest piece of lab equipment he could find at him, but his body moved on instinct, ducking easily out of the way so that the screwdriver clinked harmlessly to the ground somewhere behind him. 

“Wow!” Tony straightened back up, staring down at his hands. “Your reflexes are so much better than mine!”

“Tony! This isn’t a damn science experiment. I told you not to mess with that shit, and what do you do? Immediately start messing with that shit.” 

Tony rolled his eyes and moved back over to the machine he’d created, only stumbling a little as his brain tried to adjust for Rhodey’s gait. “Okay, in my defense, you weren’t supposed to be here.” 

“That doesn’t make me feel better. So what, you were going to transfer your subconsciousness to the computer?” He wrinkled up his nose, face scrunching into something wholly displeased and unattractive.

“Stop doing that with my face,” Tony told him, starting to adjust the settings on the machine. “It’s fine, really. I do actually know what I’m doing sometimes. It’s simple, really. All I have to do is reverse the polarity, and… Oh. Shit.” 

Rhodey drew in a deep breath, obviously trying to keep his cool. “What ‘oh shit?’” 

“Umm.” Tony ducked down, partly to avoid Rhodey’s gaze and partly to check if the damage was as bad as his initial assessment. It was worse. “Okay, so the circuits are totally fried. I’m gonna have to rebuild the entire thing. It’s fine!” he added hastily as he straightened back up in time to see Rhodey running his hands through his hair, adding an extra three inches to Tony’s height. “I already built it once. The second time’ll be easy. It’ll just take me a couple days. Especially with your clumsy fingers.” 

“My fingers aren’t clumsy,” Rhodey grumbled automatically, but he seemed to be calming down a little, and that was something. “So what, we’re just supposed to walk around, pretending to be each other?” 

“It’s two days,” Tony said again. “Monday at the latest. That’s nothing. We’ll just say we gave each other the flu, call in sick to everything we have to do. I’ll hunker down here, you can hang out at the apartment. Nobody will even have to know.” 

“Uh-huh.” Rhodey folded his arms across his chest and arched an eyebrow, and Tony made a face; it was weird seeing a look that was so quintessentially Rhodey on his own features. “Think you’re forgetting something there, dumbass.” 

“Yeah?” Tony was half distracted, already making lists in his head of what he’d need to do to repair the machine. “What’s that?” 

“Isn’t this the weekend that you’re supposed to go visit your parents? That big fancy party your mom’s throwing?” 

Tony stared up at Rhodey in horror, feeling the blood drain from his face. “Oh no.” 

“Oh yes,” Rhodey confirmed. “And I don’t think the flu excuse is gonna work this time, since that’s what you told her two weeks ago. And the month before that. I’m pretty sure there’s a limit to how many times you can get the flu in one semester. In fact, I seem to remember her telling you that if you tried to bail again, she’d come up here herself and drag you home by the hair.” 

Tony buried his face in his hands, panic flaring through him. “This can’t be happening!” he wailed, even though he knew Rhodey was right. There was absolutely no getting out of this. “What am I gonna do? Why did it have to be  _ this  _ weekend?” 

“I’m sorry,” Rhodey told him dryly. “Did next week fit your schedule better for  _ swapping bodies _ ?” But as Tony gave him a half-hearted glare, he came around, placing his hands on Tony’s upper arms. “Hey, it’s going to be okay,” he told him, calm now in the face of Tony’s panic -- that was how they worked. God only knew what would happen if they both panicked at the same time. Explosions, probably. “Tell your parents you’re bringing a friend with you for the weekend. I can come along, and then at least we’ll have an excuse to be together. You can work on it there, and kick me if I say the wrong thing, and it’ll be fine.” 

Tony gave him a skeptical look. “You just want an excuse to go up to New York so you can yell at Howard.” 

“Always,” Rhodey agreed easily. “But if it makes you feel any better, I promise I’ll be on my best behaviour while I’m inside you.” He phrased it that way on purpose, grinning when Tony cracked a smile. “It’s gonna be fine.” 

***

Tony was lucky that everyone was used to him bringing home projects from school. Jarvis didn’t even bat an eye when he came to pick them up and Tony loaded an enormous box full of mechanical parts into the backseat, just greeted them both warmly, took their luggage, and asked if they had any music preferences for the drive. That was one advantage to the two of them going, anyway; he’d already warned Rhodey not to let Jarvis catch him alone to make sure he was  _ really _ okay, like he did every time Tony was back home. There was no way he’d be even remotely fooled if he had any one-on-one time with Rhodey.

Maria, Rhodey had reported after one very tense phone call, was thrilled that Tony was bringing Rhodey along. She’d liked him the few times she’d met him, thought he was a good influence. But Tony thought it was more likely that she was hoping a guest would keep Tony and Howard on their best behaviour. She really should have known better. 

Howard hadn’t been there to greet them, or as Maria gave Rhodey a tour of the house and showed him to the guest room beside Tony’s room. He had missed the start of dinner too, striding in just a little too purposefully as Jarvis was clearing the appetizers. He hadn’t reached the point of stumbling yet, but Tony could tell he had already been into the scotch. His eyes had slid over Tony as he took his seat, and Tony resisted the urge to shudder at the obvious disdain in his expression. 

“Who the hell are you?” 

“Howard.” Maria looked tired already. “This is James Rhodes. Tony’s roommate at MIT?” 

“Jim,” Tony corrected, like he’d heard Rhodey do a thousand times. He knew his voice didn’t sound right, but it wasn’t as though they would know the difference, and Howard had already dismissed him, eyes turning to Rhodey, who was meeting Howard’s gaze way more head on than Tony ever did. Tony winced into his water glass; that wasn’t a good start.

“And what are you working on?” he asked, tone derisive, ready to tear apart whatever his response was. Rhodey opened his mouth to reply, and Tony knew this wasn’t going to go well. 

“AI,” he burst out, kicking Rhodey hard under the table. “Isn’t that what you were telling me? Tones?”

Rhodey drew in a deep breath but managed to get himself under control. “Yup,” he agreed, voice tight. “AI.” 

Howard rolled his eyes. “Sounds like a waste of time,” he decided. 

“Maybe the AI can find Captain America for you,” Tony grumbled at the table, forgetting for a moment that Howard’s quest to find a long-dead super soldier was supposed to be classified. Thankfully, nobody was paying attention to him except for Rhodey. 

***

Somehow they managed to make it through dinner, and Tony and Rhodey had made a quick escape back to Tony’s bedroom. They’d dicked around for a bit, Tony talking through his plan for rebuilding their body… transporting… machine (he really needed a name for that) and Rhodey bitching about what an absolute asshole Howard was (he wasn’t wrong). But it had been an incredibly long day, and eventually Rhodey slipped off to his own bedroom to get some sleep. 

Tony had gone through his normal bedtime routine perfunctorily, brushing his teeth and changing into pajamas. He’d flipped off the lights and slid into bed and was suddenly left with the realization that he was alone, in the dark, and this was Rhodey’s body, that fact seeming like a much, much bigger deal than it had before. 

The problem was that lately he’d been… Noticing Rhodey more and more. Getting distracted by his arms, or his chest, or his smile, thinking about him when he wasn’t even around. Tony kept telling himself it was just that they spent most of their time together, and he wasn’t dating, and eventually it would go away, but so far that hadn’t been the case. Quite the opposite, actually. He kept resisting calling it a crush but, well, that’s exactly what it was. 

And now he was lying in bed, in the dark, hyper aware of the fact that he always jerked off before bed, but oh, hey. This wasn’t his body. For longer than he felt really comfortable with, Tony was tempted anyway. Wanted to slip out of his clothes, wrap his hand around his cock. Get to see what Rhodey looked like, feel the weight of him in his hand, find out what made him twitch, and gasp, and moan, and go cross-eyed. It would probably be his only chance to find out. 

But even as he thought it, he knew he wasn’t going to go through with it. Of  _ course _ he wasn’t going to go through with it. That crossed all sorts of lines that he wasn’t going to cross, even if his brain wouldn’t shut up about it. 

Sighing, Tony slid back out of bed and turned on the light, spreading the machinery over the floor as he got to work on rebuilding the machine. 

He ended up staying up the entire night, losing track of time like he always did. It hit him harder now though, and by the time the sun was well up and Rhodey was slipping in with a mug of coffee and a muffin for him, Tony’s head was pounding and his fingers were shaking. 

Rhodey glared at him as he passed over the goods, face scrunched up sourly, and Tony winced. “Wow, that is not a good look for me.” 

“Did you stay up all night?” Rhodey asked, glare increasing. “You can’t do that with my body, Tones!” 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Why yes, Rhodes. I did in fact make a shit-ton of progress on this machine. We should be able to switch back before we leave for Boston, actually, if I pilfer some stuff from the garage. You're welcome.” 

This news didn’t seem to have the cheer-up effect that Tony was hoping for, Rhodey just glaring at him harder, and Tony pouted a little. 

“Jeez, what crawled up your butt?” he muttered into his coffee cup. 

“Nothing,” Rhodey growled, sounding almost mad about it. 

Giving him a weird look, because what the fuck was his problem, Tony took a sip of his coffee and nearly spit it all over the bed. “Ugh, what the hell is wrong with this? Is the coffee bad? Can coffee go bad?” 

Rhodey took a sip from his own mug, and wrinkled his nose. “No sugar. I made it black, like you usually take it. But I guess, technically,  _ you’re _ not the one drinking it.” He yanked the cup out of Tony’s hand, ignoring the faint whine of protest that slipped out of his mouth as he passed him the other one. “Drink this one instead.”

Tony sipped the coffee with Rhodey’s customary three servings of sugar, expecting it to be awful, but was pleasantly surprised by the flavor. He hummed as sweet, sweet caffeine filtered through his body, thankful that that, at least, was a common factor between them. 

“You said we’d be back to normal by tomorrow?” Rhodey asked, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. 

“Yeah, I think so. We’ll still have to go to the party tonight, but I figure we can get away with hiding away up here today. I can get most of it done and then we sneak down to the garage early tomorrow morning and be back to normal before Jarvis takes us back to Boston.”

“Good,” Rhodey grumbled. “Can’t come soon enough.” 

*** 

Tony didn’t know what Rhodey’s problem was. Normally he could be counted on to be in a good mood; he was easy-going, especially compared to Tony’s chaotic energy, and it took a lot to phase him. But today he was a miserable excuse for a human, growly and grouchy, and his mood only got worse as the day went on. There wasn’t much he could do to help with the rebuilding -- Tony wasn’t great at explaining his thought processes, and sometimes it was easier to just let him handle it -- but it wasn’t like letting him go wandering around the house where he could encounter Howard, or Maria, or Jarvis was a smart plan either. So he was stuck in the bedroom with Tony, flicking through the channels on the television and bitching about everything from the weather to Tony’s body’s tendency to constantly fiddle his hands. 

By the time they had to get ready for the party, and Rhodey had gone back to his own room to shower and change, Tony couldn’t help feeling a little relieved to get a break from him. He’d maybe been exaggerating  _ slightly _ about how easy peasy rebuilding the machine would be, and trying to manage it while fending off Rhodey’s bad mood was exhausting. 

He’d been hoping that a shower and maybe a nap would calm Rhodey the fuck down, but if anything he was worse when Tony met him outside the ballroom, glowering at the guests and tugging at the crotch of Tony’s dress pants. “Can’t you wear pants that fit?” he hissed as they moved into the party. 

“My pants fit,” Tony retorted, the only thing he had time to manage before his mother was whisking Rhodey off on a whirlwind tour of business contacts and debutantes. Tony had been dealing with this since he was a little kid, knew how to smile and ask the right questions and play pretend. But Rhodey didn’t, and so all Tony could do was hover by the drinks table and fend off curious looks as he watched Rhodey from across the room, glowering more and more with each new person he was introduced to. 

The second Maria had released him, looking less than pleased with ‘Tony’s’ behaviour, Tony was across the room. He grabbed Rhodey by the arm and yanked him out a side door with a careful look back to make sure no one was watching them. 

“Okay, what the fuck?” he demanded the moment they had some privacy. “What is going on with you?”

“Nothing,” Rhodey grumbled, yanking his arm away with a sullen expression. Vaguely, Tony couldn’t help thinking that it was no wonder that look was so effective at pissing off Howard. He kind of wanted to punch himself in the face right now. Then he looked at him closer. 

“Are you blushing? Stop doing that with my face. You look stupid.” 

“Your face  _ is _ stupid,” Rhodey shot back automatically, and Tony stared at him. 

“Okay, are you a literal child right now? Seriously, what the actual fuck is going on with you? Are you trying to get me killed? Because that’s what it looks like from here.” 

“It’s nothing!” Rhodey insisted. “Don’t be such a drama queen.” 

“I’m not. Howard will literally kill me if he thinks I’m doing something to ruin Mom’s party.” 

Rhodey looked a little guilty at that. “I wouldn’t let him hurt you, Tones. You know that.” 

Tony felt some of his anger dissipate, warm butterflies fluttering in his stomach at how easily protective Rhodey was. “I know,” he said. “Come on, would you just tell me what's wrong?” he asked again, this time. “Is it really that bad being stuck in my body?” 

“Well it wouldn’t be if your dick would just calm down!” Rhodey snapped before his eyes went wide, colour draining from his face. He buried his face in his hands. “Oh god. Please just pretend I didn’t say that.” 

“Oh.” Tony cleared his throat a little awkwardly. Admittedly, his sex drive was kind of stupidly high, even for someone his age. It just hadn’t occurred to him that that would be what was going on here. “ _ That’s _ what’s got you all on edge? I thought there was an actual problem.” He winced at the baleful look that Rhodey sent him between his fingers; that probably hadn’t been the most sensitive of responses. “No, I just mean… You can go ahead and…” Tony made an abortive motion with his hands, trying not to get distracted by Rhodey’s long fingers. “Like, you have my permission. To do… whatever… you need to… do.” 

Rhodey made a pained noise. “You think I haven’t tried that?” he asked, and Tony felt his brain white out at the admission. For a minute all he could focus on was the idea that Rhodey had been jerking off his dick, that Rhodey knew what he felt and looked like, that he had felt comfortable enough with Tony to just go ahead and do it. For all Tony’s internal conflict about touching himself in Rhodey’s body, knowing that Rhodey had done the same with him didn’t feel like a breach of trust in the slightest. Then, abruptly, he realized that Rhodey was still speaking. “It didn’t work, I couldn’t… get there. I don’t know, it felt all weird. Seriously dude, does your dick have a trick shot or something to come? I’ve been goin’ around half hard all day, in someone else’s body.  _ That’s _ why I’m so pissed off.” 

“Oh,” Tony said again. He could feel his heart racing, felt a little like he might pass out. “I could, uh…” He trailed off, hoping he wasn’t going to get punched in the face for what he was about to suggest. “I could show you? What I usually do, I mean. If that would help?” 

Rhodey froze. “You’d do that?” 

Tony gave a lazy shrug, trying to feign a coolness that he didn’t feel. “It’s only fair, right? It is still my body, makes sense that I’d show you how it works. And you’re kind of a bitch to be around right now, so it’s not like I’m only doing this from the goodness of my heart, here.” 

God, Rhodey had no idea. 

“What about the party?” Rhodey asked, but eyes were dark and his voice had gone low and rough, and Tony knew he was going to say yes. He shrugged again. 

“You’ve already done the rounds with Mom. She’ll leave you alone now, especially since I’m here too. And I grew up in this house. I can get us back upstairs without anyone noticing.” 

Rhodey nodded, tongue flicking out over his lip, and nonsensically Tony wondered if he always did that when he was horny. “Yeah, alright,” Rhodey agreed. “It’s worth a try.” 

***

They ended up in Tony's bedroom -- his actual bedroom, not the one that he’d been using as Rhodey -- not quite meeting each other’s eyes as they stripped out of their jackets and ties and pants until they were left in boxers and t-shirts. 

“How, uh… How do you want to do this?” Tony asked, eyes focused somewhere on his own collarbone. 

Rhodey’s eyes went wide. “I don’t know, man. This was your idea!” 

“Okay.” He gave Rhodey a crooked smile, trying to ease some of the tension in the room. “I mean, do you want me to just talk you through it? Call in from another room with walkie talkies? Or… Are you gonna freak out if I touch you?” 

Rhodey snorted, rolling his shoulders back. “No. It’s not like I’ve never been touched before,” he pointed out, but he was posturing just a little, Tony could tell. 

He hummed, consideringly, and his gaze drifted lower, blinking when he realized that Rhodey was hard. It was kind of weird, looking at his own erection from this angle, but also it was  _ Rhodey _ . “Okay, what if… What if I just sit behind you, on the bed, and then I can just…” He made a jerk off motion with his hand, grinning when Rhodey bit back a laugh. “Do it like it’s me.” 

Rhodey nodded, swallowing hard. “Yeah,” he said, clearing his throat when his voice cracked on the word. “Yeah,” he said again. “Let’s try that.” 

They didn’t speak as they shifted into position, Tony sitting back against the mountain of pillows, bending his knees and spreading his legs wide enough to leave room for Rhodey to settle between them, back to Tony’s chest. Rhodey was tense and stiff in front of him -- and not (entirely) in the good way -- and Tony dug his knee against his ribs. 

“Hey, we don’t gotta do this, you know. If you need to stop or something, just say the word.” 

In response, Rhodey elbowed him in the stomach, making him grunt. “What, are you chickening out on me, Stark? Man up!” 

Tony rolled his eyes and then pushed Rhodey’s t-shirt up, stroking his fingers down over his ribs. Rhodey made a soft, punched out noise at the touch and Tony grinned. “Feels good, huh?” 

“Yup,” Rhodey bit out, but he was still tense so Tony figured he’d skip the foreplay and move right to the good stuff. He rolled his boxers down over Rhodey’s hips, noticing the way that Rhodey inhaled sharply, stifling a whine as his cock sprang free, hard and wet at the tip and twitching in the cooler air of the room. 

“There we go,” Tony hummed, curling his hand loosely around Rhodey’s cock and giving it a slow stroke. Almost instantly, Rhodey melted back against him, body going limp as he let out a low groan. Tony shuddered a little in response, the sound going right through him. He pressed in closer, rubbing his cheek against Rhodey’s hot shoulder. “Feels good, right?” he purred, and the fact that he was speaking with Rhodey’s voice in  _ that _ tone sent heat flaring through his body. “I’m really sensitive,” he admitted softly, stroking his thumb over the head of his cock until Rhodey’s hips rocked up against him. “Gotta start out light, or else it’s too much.” 

He tightened his fist just a smidge and Rhodey’s breathing picked up, panting hard as he squirmed back against him. “Jesus Christ, Tones,” he muttered. His hands twisted in the sheets, hips rocking. “Fuck, that feels good.” 

Tony grinned against his shoulder, fighting back the urge to kiss him. He could feel himself getting hard against Rhodey’s back but did his best to ignore it, instead twisting his hand over the head of his cock so that the next stroke was wet and slick.

“Christ, Tones. Is it always so… Much?” 

“Usually,” Tony admitted. “It, uh… It helps having a partner.” 

Apparently something about that was appealing to Rhodey, because he ground back against Tony, and Tony couldn’t help the low noise that he made as his cock rubbed up against his own ass because  _ wow.  _ His butt really was phenomenal. 

He nearly giggled at that thought, but then he tightened his hand a little more, picking up speed, and Rhodey practically wailed in response. Instinctively, Tony clapped his hand over his mouth, just in case any other party guests had had the idea to slip away and overheard them. Rhodey only groaned harder, cock throbbing in Tony’s hold and his hand scrabbled to grip at Tony’s wrist, trying to increase the speed, or get him to go harder, or  _ something _ .

“Oh yeah,” Tony huffed out a soft laugh. “I really like that too. Being pinned down, held in place.” He tightened his legs around Rhodey, pulling him in closer. The height difference between them was minimal enough that Tony had never really paid attention to it before, but suddenly, all folded around Rhodey like this, he was conscious of every inch of difference between them. Not just height, but build too, his arms thick and muscular compared to Tony’s more wiry frame. Suddenly, Tony desperately wanted his body back, wanted to be the one wrapped up in Rhodey’s hold, thick arms holding him down. He could imagine it too clearly, couldn’t help grinding harder against Rhodey at the thought. 

“Tones,” Rhodey gasped out, his free hand clutching at Tony’s thigh. “I’m so…” 

“Yeah?” Tony hummed, trying to pretend like he wasn’t hard and leaking too, dangerously close to coming in his boxers. “Gonna come for me?” 

Rhodey groaned, shifting in Tony’s hold. “I want… I need…” He twisted his head back, the angle awkward, but then he was kissing Tony. It was wet and messy, the angle awkward, and the kisses were more panting against each other’s mouth than anything, but Tony had never felt anything so amazing. He tightened his grip around Rhodey, moving his other hand to scratch over the inside of his thighs and Rhodey sobbed against his lips as he came, spilling over Tony’s hand.

“Oh shit,” Tony mumbled, stilling himself against Rhodey’s back and fighting back his own groan. He stroked Rhodey through it, touch lighter with each pass, until Rhodey went completely limp against him, letting Tony take the entirety of his weight. “Good?” Tony asked, eyes trained on the drop of sweat sliding down the length of his neck. 

“Fuck, man.” Rhodey’s voice was raw. “That was incredible.” He shifted against him, trying to get more comfortable, and Tony made a punched out noise as he dragged against his still aching cock in the process. Rhodey frowned, sitting up to look at him a little better. “You didn’t…?” 

“Well, you know.” Tony rubbed his hand over his mouth, shrugging a little awkwardly. “I thought we were doing this for you and so it might be a little weird if I… You know.” 

Rhodey pulled away entirely then, turning around to face him properly. “Tony, you are the dumbest genius I’ve ever met,” he informed him before shifting forward and kissing him properly this time, grinning at him dopily when he pulled back again. His hand slid down to cup Tony’s cock through his boxers, making him whine, and he smirked at him. “Now how’s this body of yours at giving blow jobs?” 

Tony stared at him, and then he was groaning as Rhodey’s hand squeezed and he came in his boxers. He slumped forward against Rhodey, breathing hard into his shoulder while he shuddered through the aftershocks, Rhodey’s hand tracing soothing strokes up and down his back.

“Jesus Christ,” Tony muttered, when he felt like he could breathe again. 

“No kidding,” Rhodey told him, voice teasing. “Never took you for being such a quickdraw.” 

“Excuse me?” Tony gaped at him as Rhodey slid off the bed, disappearing into the bathroom and coming back with a damp washcloth. “Are you kidding? You were pressed up all against me, panting and moaning. Like you would have lasted half as long in the same situation. And anyway, this is your body, dumbass. If anyone’s the quickdraw here, it’s you.” 

Rhodey snorted as they stripped off the last of their clothes and cleaned up. “Orgasms are 99% mental, Tony.” 

Tony shook his head as he climbed under the covers with Rhodey, the thought that maybe he should go back to ‘Rhodey’s’ room never even occurring to him. “What kind of idiot told you that? And you believed them? That sounds like terrible math. There’s no way that’s true.” 

They were still lazily trading insults when they drifted off to sleep. 

***

Tony opened his eyes and then immediately closed them again, groaning as his head pounded in response. “Oh god, what the fuck happened?” he asked. 

Then he froze as he remembered everything. Keeping the rest of his body perfectly still, he opened his eyes just in time to see Rhodey on the other side of the garage, doing the same thing. 

“Oh, thank god,” Rhodey muttered, and Tony felt a matching wave of relief as he watched him pat down his body, checking to make sure everything was as he had left it. 

Tony got to his feet and grabbed the sledgehammer that he’d left nearby before turning the machine. Beaming, he passed it over to Rhodey. “Care to do the honours?” 

When Rhodey had finished smashing the machine to smithereens, a pleased smile on his face, there was a long moment of slightly awkward silence. “So,” Tony said, trying to quell the anxiety that was building in his stomach. “Back to our own bodies, huh?” He didn’t know what this meant for them, if fooling around last night (and then again this morning) was just a one off from an extreme situation, an extended science experiment. Didn’t know if Rhodey would just want to pretend it had never happened. 

But before he could really work himself up into a panic, Rhodey was turning to face him. And as Tony stared at him, confused, he curled his arms around his neck and drew him in for a slow, lazy, perfect kiss. 

“Now  _ that _ feels right,” Rhodey declared, and that dopey smile looked way better on his own face. “Getting to kiss you is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time. And having my own mouth back to do it helps.” He gave Tony’s shoulder a warm squeeze. “Come on, Tones, let’s go home.” 

_ EPILOGUE _

They were just about the pull out of the driveway when Howard came storming out of the house, looking furious about something. Tony winced, fighting back the urge to slink down beneath the window until he was out of sight. 

“Can we just go, Jarvis?” 

“No, wait!” Rhodey yelped before Jarvis could switch the car into gear. “I forgot something!” 

He was out of the car before Tony could protest otherwise, and as he watched with a mixture of horror and awe, Rhodey stomped up to Howard, said something he couldn’t quite hear, and promptly punched him in the face.

Tony stared with wide eyes as Rhodey turned back to the car, moving at not-quite-a-jog, and then slowly turned his eyes to meet Jarvis’ gaze in the rearview mirror. He was a little terrified at what he’d find, but Jarvis was smiling back at him. 

“Anthony,” he said, “Let me be the first to tell you how much I absolutely approve of your new boyfriend.” 

Tony stared at him as Rhodey climbed back into the car, beaming and just a little out of breath, and gave Tony’s hand a squeeze. “Okay, now we can go.” 

  
  



End file.
